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Poem
An unexpected storm happened last fall
I put a window in to keep out the snow and wind
For the comfort you brought me, I embraced you
You and the peace I didn’t know I needed became my obsession 

This is wrong

You were so constant I got used to it 
Winter brings a new set of challenges 
When it’s light outside I look right through you 
But when it’s dark, you show my reflection, and I’m forced to acknowledge you

This is wrong

Cracked, but you still serve a purpose 
Now even the light comes with a scarred view
And deservedly you fracture my reflection-
Since I had been angry enough to disfigure you in the first place 

This is wrong 

Vulnerability left no room for a final mistake
Hopes of being whole again replaced by “I wish we’d never met”
Maybe there’s no need for you anymore since it’s spring 
Glass litters the lawn outside, and I still cut myself when I walk there

This is wrong

An open frame in my wall where the window was 
The presence of invasive cold does less to freeze me than does your absence
Instead of the snow, rain introduces itself 
And now instead of a reflection I can see the dark that you sheltered me from

This is wrong

As summer approaches I realize
I didn’t have a room with a wall for you
I didn’t even have a house or a foundation 
So why was I ever looking for a window in the first place?

This was wrong

But for just a moment before it shattered, there was a defiant “I love you”
Where we were so broken but so desperate to prove that broken is beautiful 
The beautiful promise of “no more breaking promises”
Then a final broken promise for us to realize broken is ugly

This is so wrong 

I was 16 when I helped frame a house
From the concrete to the roof
We put the windows in last
I hope understanding that will be my concrete

And when fall comes around again I’ll be ready
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