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Thinking I was paralized, understanding I was torn. Feeling no love, and my existence void of any form. Hovering I felt I had traveled beyond a dream. I knew this was torment, yet I was unable to scream. Every thought was heard in echo's as if I had said it out loud. Happiness I couldn't remember, for this was something I could not doubt. This presence grew stronger, and I could not get away. For I knew in my soul that if it spoke I knew what it would say. Separation from any and all things light. Increasing in torment over and over again I would die. Surrounded by sorrow anguish is all I could think. I never slept I never took a breath and I couldnt even blink. No rest I yearned to call upon His name. But I couldn't even say it, from it I was eternally detained. Into nothingness and darkness my eyes sought out for light. There was nothing I felt nothing except the fact that I could not fight. It grew closer and how disgusting I felt I'd see. Never seeing nothing only feeling "Red" as it was approaching me. Still paralized and on my attempts to scream I would choke. Choking out the goodness and purity I had left for any hope. Encaged in the worse feeling I ever had alive. It never subsided knowing I had given up the choice of life. In darkness I felt a book the cover of it said Holy but I could only feel the braille. Every page was empty the Word was gone and I knew I was in hell. No no I begged it not to be so. But repentance was no more as I reap I now would sow. What could I do if I could not see light. I knew I would never have another chance to set things right. It was laughing but the laughter was worse than any guilt. The dread of something evil devouring fruit as it began to wilt. Please no don't let this be my fate. Locked in a prison of fornication that felt was worse than any hate. I knew I had more sorrow along with the deepest heartbreak and shame. I was dead forever no more love and I only wanted to call HIS name. Suddenly I heard a blow of the loudest horns of hell. Followed by the breaking sounds of chains and my sins upon a scale. That image was only feeling and burned into my heart. From God and my Salvation forever torn apart. Then I felt a shutter a push beyond the vacant forever night. Back into my body my mind back into the breath of life. I opened my eyes feeling for my face. Crying out to God for I knew he saved me from that place. One thing I remember as I was lifted out. Was oh my LORD people have no idea what awaits for them now. Listen, listen, the Word is real but believe what you hear. Keep it close beside you make it more precious than anything you hold dear. Once you are without it, there will be no memory of anything it said. For an eternity you will suffer the feeling of defilement approaching you in RED.
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