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What is the nature of the affection you claim to possess for me when your expressions of love are accompanied by detachment, distance, and uncomfortable silences? I find myself engaging in internal monologues in an attempt to alleviate the emotional challenges that we vowed would never arise between us, akin to the familial dynamics we observed in our parents and their siblings. Yet, as history tends to do, it repeats itself. I am disheartened by the realization that as we age, we also grow apart, mourning the presence of an individual who is physically present but emotionally distant. Whose responsibility is it, I wonder? Is it mine for hesitating to respond to inquiries such as "what troubles you, my dear," possessing a deep sentiment but lacking the ability to articulate an intellectual analysis of the situation, thus resorting to a nonchalant, indifferent response of "nothing... nothing is wrong," revealing my inadequacy. I implore you to elucidate which factor would lead to your emotional breakdown amidst the company of loved ones, feeling more isolated than when you were physically alone in a dimly lit room, fixated on your phone, yearning for a different scenario where words were spoken differently. I beseech you, when did my siblings become unfamiliar to me? When did we transform into the individuals we vowed never to emulate?
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