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At the Easter buffet, the lady sitting next to me said, 
“You know what honey?
Your jokes ain’t all that funny."
I said, “You know ~ I’ve been told that.
So, that’s kinda old hat.
So, can I serve you this breast?  
Or would you prefer the thigh of this bunny?"

For the next joke I told, the pastor said I was a real sinner.
I said “Oh yeah? But at least I’m only a beginner.”
Which made many of the parishioners laugh,
but not the other half,
who almost choked on their salad and grilled rabbit dinner.

At kiddie time, we discovered there’d been a great heist ~
and to think this was done on the day of the risen Christ!
Someone had snuck into the pantry and made off with all the Easter baskets.
And when they heard it, the kiddies started to blow their collective gaskets.
So, I said I'd go buy new ones to replaced the ones lost in the heist.
That is, till I saw how tariffs had made them way overpriced.

When I came back with no baskets but just loose Easter candy,
I heard everyone say, "Oh that's just dandy."
And I agree ~ dandy it was.
And though it was Easter, I sort of felt like Santa Claus.
And I enjoyed the rest of the party watching the kiddies eat their candy,
while sipping passion punch laced with sweet apple brandy.

When the Easter party was done
I got up to say goodbye to everyone.
And I said to the lady who’d eaten the breast,
"Of all the guests, I liked you the best.”
Don't think the feeling's mutual,
I saw her condescending eyes suggest.

Notwithstanding, I loved being the life of this party.
I love to make people laugh by being a total-ass smarty.
And even if all my jokes weren't that funny
they made the atmosphere at the buffet so light and so sunny.
I still smile seeing that guy cracking up, snorting his coke and Bacardi.

When I went to bed and reminisced about my day,
I concluded this was the best ever Easter holiday.
Though I think not all the kiddies were happy,
cuz I heard whispers that some of the candies might've tasted a bit crappy.
Oh well, I won't let that detract,
in any way,
from the fact that I had a really great time
at my new congregation's salad and rabbit Easter buffet.

Good night.
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