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I used to look to the sky,
I used to play with the clouds,
I used to talk to the moon,
I used to love butterflies
and rainbows too.
I used to run free
I used to love absolutely
Everything

I used to believe
Friends are Forever
I used to believe
The words I would hear
Now I trust nothing 
and No One

I now see clear
I've been the Wench
I've been your Shunt
I've been A Heartless Whore
Which is funny.....
Cause that's one thing
I actually....
Was never paid for!!!!!!

I've done all I can...
I've helped where I could
I loved without regret....
Some I even begged
Only to be left
With only cold words
Or nothing at all said...
Yet, I was perfect...
Gorgeous Amazing
As I imagine you laughing
Out loud
At the words you are saying
You swear I'm wrong
You swear It's Just Me....
Right...
Till the day
I say something triggering....
Then Bam There it is...
The truth
I knew all along
Then silence from there
Like I'm the one in the wrong

The words that you used
Hurt worse than anything
I've had surgeries
I've had Babies
Compared to this....
Those pains were Nothing
I'm giving up
I'm tired of crying
That strong woman I was....
Has slowly been dying
I've starved myself
I've cried for weeks
I've spoken to God
I feel like he
Gave up on me.

This is stupid
This is Wrong
But
I'm so tired
Of being Strong

So .....
On goes my clown suit
Of Armor
To pretend I'm Fine
And
Getting Stronger

I've made a fool of myself
Believing....
It was true...
Believing that Dreams
Really Can Come True!!!!

written by 
Crystal Creech 
January 14,2024

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