Email Poem

Your IP Address: 216.73.216.202
Your Email Address:
To Email Address:
Subject
Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem

The one who savagely broke my heart
swallowed a balloon and blew apart.
And though it was only a dream,
and as unreal as it may seem,
it made my day better ~ from the start.

I knew this sixth-grade punk from Venice,
who took pride in being a menace.
To any kid who dared criticize,
he'd say, "Watch it. I'll gauge out your eyes,
and then use 'em for table tennis.
Sinbad, that wealth-squandering sailor,
sorely needed an expert tailor.
His pants had ripped at the crotch,
which bothered him very much,
cuz his crew could see his wassailer.

Cruising in her Hyundai Sonata,
listening to a Bach cantata,
she killed the overhead light
and mused, “For dinner tonight,
I'd love your twelve-inch enchilada.”
When we were teenage lovers,
we were ready to create a new universe under the covers.
But then our big bang
didn't amount to a dang,
a disappointment many a young lover is bound to discover.

The host teased the entrants saying, "Please.
Tell me, whose delicious breasts are these?"
The winner blithely jumped up,
and, handed the Best Chef's cup,
yelled, “Mine, and so good with melty cheese."
Can you believe what she said to me?
That I'm the new king of perv~idy."
Oh, wow, that's a snazzy word ~
one that I ain't ever heard.
Can you define "perv~idy" for me?

I once knew a charmer named Nancy,
who was a pro at necromancy.
She'd conjure up the ghost,
you'd wanna see the most,
and make 'em do a song and dancy.
Till I was still relatively young,
she'd smooch the air right out of my lung.
Now that I'm relatively old,
and half my rotten teeth are gold,
she won't even kiss me with her tongue.

I'd have loved to make to love to Louise.	
But come near her ~ and I'd start to sneeze.
So, though she was really pretty,
I was afraid to get flirty.
The closer I got, the more I'd wheeze.
Is that Taylor Swift?
I thought it was a truck with bad gear shift.
Naw, I'm just joking.
It's just a little fun I'm poking
at a girl by whom I got stiffed.

I'm a real pragmatist through and through.
So when she asked, "How'd you like to screw?" ~
I said, "Show me the plan.
What do you expect from a man?
And what can a man expect from you?”
I once had a neighbor named Rosco,
who did all his shopping at Cosco.
It's where he met his first wife,
who really cheapened his life,
running off with his best friend, Bosco.

The old tree on which I carved your name? ~
during last week's windstorm, down it came.
That staunch, indomitable oak,
that saw you prod and watched me poke,
is firewood now, ready for the flame.
Couldn't see her forest for her trees.
Couldn't see her knickers for her knees.
Couldn't see the lightning of her thunder, 
No! Nothing of her top nor nothing from down under ~
though I pleaded, "Show it to me ~ please!"

Wonder how Meg's doing in heaven.
Still going to 7-11
for her daily bag of chips,
and wax balm for her dry lips,
and stuff for her bourbons and seven?
When a collie sheds, there's much to do ~
hair on the rug, and all over you.
It sure can overwhelm a little ~
that sea of hair, with you in the middle.
And the dog? He don't give a fiddle!

We're two of the world's hottest lovers.
We heat things up under the covers.
We play games ~ from zoomy to reeps,
and don't care if anyone peeps ~
though he who does ~ never recovers.
Here's a question, just between you and me ~
did anyone ever see Jesus pee?
I know of no book where it's recorded,
but was anyone ever afforded
a peek, say, by the Sea of Galilee?

So yes, I would much rather than not
take a good, hard look at what you've got.
And if you've got too little,
I might be noncommittal.
But surely not if you've got a lot.
Seventy-five ~ and life's as boring ~ 
as watching this old dog snoring.
Wait ~ I see teens strutting outside.
Will one get taking for a ride?
Maybe that's something worth exploring.

I sure miss the old halcyon days.
They were so great in so many ways ~
not like these dog days of summer ~
that make people dumber and dumber.
Please. Pass the catsup ~ and mayonnaise.
Because of the very hot weather,
lovers should skip sleeping together.
The rubbing of very dry feet
on a combustible bed sheet
might cause a fiery coming together.

I find it so effervescent
that you let me explore your fertile crescent.
I know ~ my requests are incessant ~
I'm such a total adolescent.  
But thanks for being so acquiescent.
This morning, my yard was hopping
with squirrels and rabbits busily shopping
for pine needles, berries, and cones,
perfumes, oils, and sweet colognes,
to entice partners for this evening's bebopping.

The fox said to the wolf in a huff.
"We're making this problem way too tough.
You take that goat, Sandie,
and I'll take that lamb, Randy.
And we'll split Porks, if that ain't enough."
There was some tumultuous to do
in the pouch of the glum kangaroo.
The twins were jumping and springing,
doing summersaults and singing,
making mommy kangaroo ~ so blue.

Tiny birds scooting across the street,
hopping on their three-toed, little feet.
A car misses them by inches ~
they'd be dead if they were finches!
Birdies! Get off of the street! Tout sweet!
I chanced on a cat big as a bear
who was all covered in grizzly hair.
He'd cornered a mouse
as big as a house
and guess who was trembling in fear there.	

"You look like a million bucks
in your pretty white tux,"
said the ravenous wolf to a wide-eyed lamb.
"But though you look pretty in it,
don't think for a minute
I'm not gonna eat you, cuz I am."
CAPTCHA Preview
Type the characters you see in the picture
Required