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For Oliver’s: The Bard’s Birthday Contest
03/30/25

Julius Caesar – Act 1 Scene 2 Verse 190-195

Let me have men about me that are fat,
Sleek-headed men and such as sleep a-nights.
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look,
He thinks too much; such men are dangerous.

The belly’s reign

Oh give me men who feast and snooze
round soft bellies the ones I choose
Feed them, feed them, give them fodder
Fatten them and do not bother
Never mind if they’re a plodder
Not the lean ones, not that breed
They ponder much, and worse, they read
They have a different type of greed
For the slender I have no place
Though, they don’t take up much space
Oh give me men who wine and dine 
Well- groomed with hair that shine
Feed them, Feed them, give them tucker
Avoid the ones inclined to pucker
I don’t like their gaunt sharp stare
from those slimmers just beware
I want the ones with cushy cheeks
Who snore and dream for weeks on weeks
Feed them Feed them on demand
One day they’ll need a gastric band
Oh don’t give me men who never snooze
No lavish meals and evening booze
Weed them, weed them, shear their seed-head
They’re invasive and tend to spread
avid lean and envy green
Dangerous like a fiery bean
So let the plump stay by my side
Chomping on a chicken fried
I wonder if with this demarche
I will survive The Ides of March

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