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Poem

I thought that I had matured enought to have the strenght within me

To look and accept reality

I thought I could look into the eyes of past and accept that it has passed

Old camera i haven’t picked up in months is my only gateway to past regrets and memmories

Vision blured with tears 

I can’t get past more than a second of every memory

I used to have beautiful people in my life

i never could’ve thought  that I’ll be looking back with tears so soon

I look back at the way i used so be

kind and inoccent 

I wasnt as bad as i thought i was

I looked alright and didnt hurt anyone

Now i stare at myself and keep thinking

How did this happen to me?

Within a year I became someone I can never dare to look at 

I became something past me wouldve laughted at 

Dates on the memories made me want to roll onto the floor 

I never could’ve thought that time could be so teribbly unkind 

I would give away everything to go back and fix everything

Body trembles 

I’m not sure why

I might actually be sick or is it the sickness of the regret that i’ve been avoiding for so long

Can’t i prolong my easy mind for just a little while?

Until regrets of past come to burn me at the steak

One thing i can never understand

How did i manage to ruin everything i used to have?

I miss the people and the places

I miss the music and the dances

I miss the smell of smoke and liqour 

I miss the late trains in the middle of the night

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