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All for the price of a dozen eggs,
America stands on shaky legs.
Globally, the claim is heard ~
"The US ~ laughingstock of the world,"
as daily, we star in our very own theater of the absurd.
In the gold mirror, what does Trump see?
The smile of a sly convict ~ still free?
Or the face of Christ
he puts on to heist
all of value from you and from me?

The reason to fight for reason, I reason
is that reason's threatening to go out of season.
In this age of Trump,
half of mankind's mind is a dump
for conspiracy theory, trumpery, and treason.
When God looked left, they snuck in from the right,
as predicted, with a cross and a flag, in broad daylight.
Acting in the name of Jesus,
with a blanket of ICE that freezes,
they did US wrong with their evil might.

Object lesson for Trump

Wonder how Hitler's doing in hell.
Is he still cursing the heat and the smell?
And how's he responding now
to his daily dose of Dachau?
And does he still yell
each time his blisters pop, then re-swell? 
b>Thank God, I didn't starve to death in Bergen-Belsen.
Thank God, I didn't get liquidated in the Russia of Boris Yeltsin.
But now, I do find myself living under a wannabe dictator,
who appears to be a Russian collaborator,
a fabricator, intent on making my American dream crater.

If Trump were to croak, say, by choking on a slice of papaya, 
how long before his ilk would see it as a heavenly sign and run it by a 
biblical scholar who would then be given the imperative 
to scour the Bible to come up with a plausible narrative 
to prove that Trump's death was another example of a suffering messiah?
The last time I went to the dump 
to try to drop of this MAGA-sized, plastic Trump, 
the guy at the gate
said, "Hey, you got to wait. 
I think our dump is way too small for that MAGA-sized rump."   

FOX news asked someone, "If Trump were fried chicken, 
do you think he’d be finger linkin'?" 
They said, "As the Commander in Chief, 
I’d be more inclined to ask, 'where is the beef' 
that keeps that little prick a-tickin'?" 
The length and breadth of Trump's brain 
are so incalculable, it's quite literally insane. 
With his ability to think 
he can even make infinity shrink, 
or whatever it is the MAGA crowd always seems to be sayin'. 

Trump Quiz

In Mark 7:21-22, Jesus proclaims the following as sins. Circle every one that applies to Trump:

7.21 For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, fornication, theft, murder, adultery, 7.22 coveting, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.

Did you get them all?
 
Did you hear Trump joke he wants to be the next Pope?
Don't he know the Pope ain't allowed to grope?
That a Pope don't appoint advisers who are drunks and smoke dope?
That a Pope don't give in to vanity by painting their face the color of a cantaloupe?
That a Pope spreads not despair, but genuine hope?
That even one lie a day is for a Pope way out of scope?

And does Trump realize he'd have to convert
from his icky form of Christianity to Catholicism,
and that he could no longer flirt with any random skirt?
And that he'd have to dedicate himself fully not to golf, but to God and the church,
and leave all his brown-nosing billionaire friends in the lurch?
Not according to my research!

And can you imagine Trump's first papal bull?*
"From now on, only the rich get to go to heaven,
because heaven is getting to be too damned full."

* A papal bull is a type of public decree, letters patent, or charter issued by a pope.
Reasoning like Trump's henchman, Stephen Miller

A great mystery was recently solved
when bird DNA conclusively resolved
that the American Eagle
came over the border as an illegal.
And to ensure its spread can be thwarted,
all American Eagles must immediately be deported,
so, let Congress cough up the funds so ICE can get involved.
I wish the Trumps a world of bad luck.
Let them suffer too! Who gives a f-ck?
And let it last to the fourth generation,
for the harm they've done to our great nation,
carting off our Constitution in their garbage truck.

When Chinese troops reached Mar-a-lago,
Trump tried to flee by plane to Fargo.
But the Proud Boys he told to stand by,
when they saw the Chinese, eye-to-eye,
they quickly gave up their orange cargo.
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