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Bill and Gil met a new gal, Diamond Lil In a sassy saloon named Petey’s Swill She was dressed with a dolly lady’s skill Ruffled as a male peacock with a trill Diamond Lil educated naïve Bill and innocent Gill Of this debauchery world they had each known zill Her step-by-step lessons were a gigantic thrill She taught them with the precision of a sergeant’s drill Many of her life lessons were taught on Farmer’s Hill Like how to make corn whiskey in a bootlegger’s still She also taught them some interesting things at the old saw mill They knew now how to determine if a fabric was satin or twill Bill and Gill never got over their education with Diamond Lil One of their most deranged jealous neighbors was Jenny Jill Jenny tried to kill Diamond Lil with a giant unknown pill Thus, Lil ran off with a dastardly gentleman named Mr. Bill. Taking with her two other men she had met at Petey’s Swill
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