Email Poem

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Poem

I want to cry away my soul
Slowly and painful
I want to feel every drop 
When it's touching the floor 
I want each tear that drops 
to be every minute till moment ago 
I want it to be slow and long
I want it to be painful so my mind will finally shut off 
I want to feel the pain 
Only to be able to feel again 

I want a silence in my head 
And sleep inside a pond of tears
I want to spit any rotten part inside 
And watch it wash away like day after night 
I want to take out any foggy part 
till I won’t feel a fear like a child trying to sleep under the darkest sky 

And what kind of dreams I am going to have 
When I’m washed away from pain
Would I finally be able to breathe 
Would I be able to finish a knit 
Would I find the same feeling 
even when the sun rising
Would I be able to run away 
And not just close my eyes and fool myself 
would I be able to fly and fight a cassowary pretend to be a butterfly 

I want to cry away my thought 
Fast and soft 
I want to forget every drop 
When it’s touching the floor 
I want etch tear that drop
To be a millisecond of thought 
I want it to be fast and short 
I want it to be soft as snow 
So my brain will freeze off any other nick of thought 
I want to feel the relief 
Only to remember how it used to feel

I want silence in my head 
I want a wind of a mountain 
And the mountain is my brain
I want to spit any lava that was kept inside 
Watch it fall and get dry 
I want to take away any monsoon cloud
Till there's no other shade of blue and white  

And I know all I can cry is words 
But why I can't erase the ones who been written all along

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