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Poem

The blackboards loom, a silent witness to that day—
I glimpsed her, and my chest tightened.
Only god noticed how I held my breath.

Chalk-scented classrooms, her pen tapping desk,
My eyes fixed on textbooks, pretending indifference.
Unknowingly, how aware I was of her every move.

Lunch breaks, I'd watch her from across the room,
Her laughter carried on the breeze, a melody—
I wished I had the courage to knock between worlds.

Valentine's day, I mustered up the nerve to confess,
A clumsily folded note, my feelings scrawled inside.
But as she neared, my throat closed, and I walked away.

Prom afterparties: smoke and cosmetic scents mingling.
I lingered by the school halls, watching her
twirl in a dress that painted air with grace.

"You going to talk to her?" my old friend nudged.
I shrugged, mumbled something else about the music.
Some feelings are too big for words, you know?

Years pass. Manila grows, but shrinks too.
I see her ghost in coffee shops, at jeepney stops.
It's stupid, but I still rehearse what I'd say.

My hair's more salt than pepper now.
I walk our old routes, half-hoping, half-dreading—
What if I turn a corner and there she is?

Sometimes I wonder if she remembers me at all.
Funny how a heart can hold on so tight
to something that was never really there.

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