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To the lady I served dinner to on New Year's Eve: It was the New Year, but nothing seemed new about it because I was still delivering plates with a fake smile and a shortening will to live. You said "Happy New Year," To which I responded "Happy New Year, cheers to another trip around the sun" in my acted sense of joy as I handed you your wine. As you reached for the glass your brow ruffled for a brief visible display of confusion, which I caught, and then wondered and scanned for what may had been wrong. I left to give you time to decide your entrees and I double checked my memory, notes, and computer to make sure I gave you the right wine. Why did you look confused. This sort of thing bothered me. One of my weaknesses is that I must know the hidden feelings and their reasons that surface on peoples' faces and bodies, especially if I was the cause. Until I found out why, her confusion became my own, and I wouldn't be free of it until I knew why it existed. One of my strengths is that I always find out why, and will set myself free of others' emotions one way or another. When I returned, you asked me "What was that bit about spinning around the sun you said earlier?" Confusion was turning slowly into realization, but not quite yet, and I responded "Oh spinning around the sun? I meant it's the new year so we are spinning around the sun again, you know, revolution?" You paused with the same confused look and then scanned me up and down, and blurted "You must be a WPI student because that is way over my head." It was at that moment, at the age of 25, that I learned that there are adult humans out there, double my age, spinning around the sun and not even knowing it; not knowing what a New Year was, while celebrating it at the same time. It had also dawned on me that she may not know what dawn is. Happy New Year, please spin knowingly and safely, especially you, wine lady.
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