Email Poem

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Poem

Love disappeared and left me longing
a broken home topped off with losing it
To be wrong for trying to conclude the madness
to be able to concede but unable to retreat
Made me Frankenstein a monster 
whose reflection made me want to vomit
A child produced from the broken home
just for one side to perceive as if he was never conceived
How can I grow if I cant water my own seed
Irresponsibility and border line addictions
immaturity and wandering without knowing missions
Became a man that instead of receiving love 
I was begging for forgiveness
Watching leave what was held as a sacred bond 
made the inside of me scream 
and my head let off alarms
No charming here just trauma and pain from over there
I would've shared but it was taken as a joke
Face got used to red and ears got used to smoke

It got better for a moment
even though it was hate used to replace the love stolen
A solid figure but after the heat it became molten
I thought it was a home being created
not your jail you needed to escape from
I never thought it could be this bad from dating
but its enough to make you turn numb
Acceptance and powerlessness weighed heavily
going through a lonely hell when will things turn heavenly
If i accept it It wont better me
 but if I fight it i still lose control gradually
My only fear was producing a void permanently
nothing to fill the hole that made me look problematic mentally
its bickering and snickering behind the end of love
but also at the beginning of hate
I was giving up on love it was beginning to look fake
It was a stalemate when it was supposed to be checkers
It was checks being yelled instead of us checking
Still unavoidable to wish for or to long for something missing
Still so unavoidable

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