Email Poem

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Personal Note:

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Poem

nobody knows how it feels for my heart 
to love this boy.
to feel the security, the safeness, the trust.
to smile when he smiles, laugh when he laughs, to feel
Butterflies. All. Over.
nobody knows what it feels like.

nobody knows how it feels for my heart
to miss this boy.
to remember the smiles and the inside jokes about giraffe and notebooks
to reminisce about our first date, his bony hugs, oh my god 
I. Miss. This. 
nobody knows what it feels like.

nobody knows how it feels for my heart to have lost this boy.
for it to shatter into a million tiny pieces.
My raw pain makes me constantly
Sob. Scream. Die inside. 
nobody knows what it feels like.

nobody knows how it feels for my heart 
to not have this boy. (anymore)
to have it know that it doesn’t have another heart to connect to.
to fathom the fact that he will love someone else, maybe psomeone
Prettier. Older. Wiser. 
nobody knows what it feels like.

nobody knows how it feels for my heart to see this boy now, 
ringing in my ears, nausea in my stomach, pain in my heart.
The walls are closing in on me,
I. Can’t. Breathe. 
nobody knows what it feels like. 

nobody knows how it feels for my heart to disappear because of this boy. 
It’s like the grinch’s story in reverse.
Nothings the same anymore, everything’s numb.
Who. Am. I. 
nobody knows what I feel like.

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