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October the 23rd 2024 at ten till eight the mighty Kublai died.
I was selfish and greedy wanting him to last just one more week,
even though a friend called saying she could help I made plans to do it on that
next Wednesday. I had been carrying him outside cause he walked slow and gingerly, been holding him with his head on my shoulder and he would fall
into a deep sleep. I fed him his food cupped in my hand he would not eat it
any other way but still not much. Sassy and Genghis had no clue, he was
always with us. Tuesday at six PM I carried him into the dinning room and went to get something. Coming back for him to lay on his bed I was  shocked to see him twisted on the floor with his head sticking up, his body was floppy and
I did my best to carry him to my bed. Laying piddle pads underneath him and resting his head on a thin pillow. The vet was closed, called some friends and a sister. He was scared, his eyes open never shutting. Breathing so hard
his breath was in a rhythm sounding like help me. I would give him a little 
water from the cap of my water bottle and he licked it up. Sassy and Genghis
were playful, Genghis tried to sit on his head and would roll into him wanting
to play with his brother. Sassy tried to lay on his pillow under his head.
I petted him and realized he was getting hot from the bed he always did
so I carefully picked him up and lay him on the floor to cool. Looking for a big box I found a large pink lattice plastic four handle carrying tote and it was perfect. Laid a soft piddle pad inside and placed him in. Genghis would walk around it seeing Kublai through the lattice holes and he got depressed.
He knew. Sassy would stand and watch him inside it and she understood.
Never thought he would have a stroke or go this way. It was if God was telling me to take him now when my friend called available to help but I could not do it, wanted a little more time. Kublai breath stop at ten till eight that Wednesday morning. He looked as if he was peacefully sleeping with his eyes open. Got a hand towel to cover his face and my friend Ron took me to the Vet where they were able to bury him for me legally in the city for $25.00,
he was twenty five pounds. $175 for cremation and he would have to be shipped to a city that did it. When I came home Sassy and Genghis were sadden. My little old boy left a huge void. I am grateful for the seventeen years we had together, he made me laugh and smile and feel so loved because the little guy loved me and I loved Kublai very much, secretly spoiled him, sneak him a treat, lift him up to the bed to play cause he could not jump anymore while Genghis barked in protest and Sassy would sniff and kiss him.
Always had to scratch his chest. whenever Kublai walked into a room I would shout Kublai! Kublai! and the other two would dance around him. I have guilt for not putting him down sooner, hope he can forgive me. I know even though it would have been right I would have felt guilt if I did have him put down but this is worst. I held his collar and Sassy came up to me and sniffed it and looked at me as to say where is Kublai,I want to play with him my fuzzy fluffy friend that I can use as a pillow. I put the collar away and hugged my Sassy girl. Genghis lying silently. Goodbye sweet Kublai, goodbye...
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