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Poem

I have never gotten seasick in the way the dictionary says.
I have never felt the rocking of you and been dizzy from it.
I have never swallowed too much of your salt,
I have never swam too far so I’d drown.
I have only ever felt like I was engulfed in you,
flowing with your waves.
I have swallowed your salt, and I have swam far out,
But it never hurt.
It had never hurt like it hurts to be away from you.
I’m seasick,
But in the way that when tears fall down my face and roll into my mouth, I can only taste your saltiness.
I dream that I’m near you, and everything is right.
I’m flowing free in your water.
But I’m not with you. I’d give anything to feel a wave roll over me,
But all I feel is the waves within, pulling me back as the tide recedes.
And then I’m always pushed back with the same force I’m pulled by.
I am not seasick in the way that people are because they have too much of you.
I am seasick because I have too little of you.
Humans drown in the ocean. Fish dry up on land.
Ocean, I think I could never drown in you, because I am already beached like a dying whale, drying out in the sun.

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