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“Looking back, I’m ashamed of what I was,
I’m different now, though not without flaws.
Each crest becomes a trough, as we move on,
God slowly steers soul towards a new dawn.”

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when I look back on my life the first thing I think is
      how did I ever survive it . . .  did I have a death wish
I had no fear like hitchhiking across Canada alone
          wandering Florida for months until I got deported

there were some amazing adventures along the way
      I met some amazing and interesting people
and I met up with some shady characters that scared me
          I became quite good at taking off without a trace

then, one Christmas I missed my family and went home
     mom and dad welcomed me back without questions
it was the best Christmas ever as I was surround with love
          I came back changed and stayed to never wander again

over the years I have become very spiritual in my mind
     have made an effort to learn about my Ojibiway roots
even went on some vision quests that I love doing sometimes
            I found meditation, I found prayer, the Bible, church

and I found that God was waiting for me all I needed to do
     was reach out to him, I can feel his love all the time now
my Catholic school upbringing has given me a good base 
         but I am open to hear about other peoples beliefs

I now understand the teachings that my parents instilled
     in me, father taught me about nature and shared quotes
mother taught me about gardening, kindness, and forgiving
        and grandma taught me about writing and poetry

it has been a good life, though I have struggled with grief
     too much death starting in childhood, losing my own child,
and my husband, then the loss of dad, mom, and grandma
         and each cat that became like my babies, my children

but I have arrived at the here and now, and can only imagine
    it getting better and better, its an open road, with no
obstacles in my way because I realize that I have the power
         to make my future self, the best version of me
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