Email Poem

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Poem
Happy, happy, let's be happy
No more tears, let's not feel crappy
Music blaring I'm in the zone
I feel the most safe here at home

Trying to not let darkness creep in
My darkest days get me in a spin
Ignore the noise, its coming through
Darkness **sigh** is now in the room

Fighting the demons one on one
To be happy or sad, I feel so torn
Depression my most faithful friend
Happiness now at the end

Body shaking, losing sleep
No pills on earth can help, I'm in too deep
Here we go again, its time to end
Pills or blade, my usual trend

In and out of bipolar I go
Always heading into the unknown 
Keep it at bay is all I asked 
But that itself is an impossible task

Triggered this time by betrayal and lies
Ill health too from the genes I despise 
Not my fault this time its true
But only I can make it through 

Happy, happy, let's be happy
Music blaring, but theres only silence 
Thoughts in my head go round and around 
Crying myself to sleep is where I can be found 

My loyalty has turned to distrust 
Speak to people..only if I must
Who knows when this cycle will end
All I really need is a friend

Body aches starting strong
I just need to get to the end of this song
Music blaring, my happy place 
But i can't hear the words its all just bass

Speech now slured, vacant look upon me
I'm in the depths of depression im so lonely
Still trying to make it to the end of the song
But its over and out from me..move on

Happy, happy, let's be happy
There's a brightness shining down upon me
Is this relapse now at an end?
Is my heart and mind now on the mend?

Music is my therapist 
Avril's playing ...yep I hear it
Word for word the song is playing
I made it through with all my praying

Music blaring, songs on repeat
I will never admit defeat 
Knock me down as much as you like
But a true heart will always win the fight

Darkness now its time for you to go
I have to say you put on a good show 
But for now let's part ways
You will NEVER be able to stay

Happy, happy let's be happy
No more tears, let's not feel crappy 
Music blaring.....im so happy

But I feel it inside,  its coming back
Turn the music up...but theres total silence
Depression is back, darkness too
Off to battle we go for round two

So the cycle begins again, 
to live or die, i need some restrain 
Music is my happy place
When i hear the lyrics again I will know i am safe

Music blaring...songs on repeat
I'm ready for you darkness whenever we next shall meet.
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