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I saw the ugly dweeb in the school yard
Thought I'd teach him that life was hard
He was weak, I felt like pushing him around
Jane and Mike were with me, I picked him off the ground

Mike laughed as the nerd's legs kicked in the air
Jane threw the geek's glasses, they cracked, she didn't care
Then this pinata began to speak
He talked like a preacher, what a freak!

"Countrymen" he said, "You're on a sinking boat"
"The debt is huge, and they've stolen the vote!"
"Merit is replaced by obsession with race
And by the way, I'm carrying Mace."

I gave an uncertain sigh, shook the little twerp
He said "wind and solar kill birds, one day no more chirp.
"Our energy supply destroyed for a chimera of green"
I dropped the dweeb, it was a surreal scene

He fell on the asphalt, let out a groan
He said "we're all on the Titanic, so leave me alone:
The iceberg has sliced the hull, we're all going to sink
So bullying is pointless, I want to make you think!"

I picked him up again, it required quite some heft
He added "Latin America has gone hard left"
Hezbollah and Iran are all flourishing down there:
Russians in Nicaragua, Chinese everywhere."

My arms were tired, and it was time for gym
I dropped him again, but I'll make plans for him.
Dweebs like that got to know their place
Then he pulled out a bottle, threatened me with mace.

He spoke again, "This is a better lesson than class
Be sure I'm not armed, before being so crass"
Then he carried on about drugs, factories gone away
Mike and Jane looked dazed, I looked gray
He continued speechifying on the schoolyard floor
We lost our appetite for bullying anymore.

Some years later I heard the dweeb became a rock star
To me real proof we've sunk, and how far
With sold out concerts, screaming dames
Hopeless dweebs all, they're all insane.
On the other hand, since we're on a sinking boat
Might as well be crazy, while we're still afloat.
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