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But everything might be okay.

I’d rather live in the now than the past, which was already tied .  
I understood that it was just how I am; it's not a pity.  
My dad once talked with his sisters about their behavior towards my mum,  
and still visited them and made his time free for them for coffee or some.  
My mum always told my dad, "Why do you always call them? Message them? When they didn't even remember your birthday or don't even respond to you."  
But my dad kept to himself how he felt about them: "I don't care about what they are doing. I am doing what a brother does and a father who wants the best for his kids.  
Still visiting keeps the family group intact; I don't care if their behavior fits."  
My mum is a person who doesn't care when they don't care and doesn't go further.  
Still, I always saw her treating them with respect when they encountered her by coincidence, where she just let out a murmur.  
I remember my uncle not wanting to see his sister ever again.  
My dad told that their other sister said to him, "How can you be so sure of that? He just says it like that. It's still his sister; still, his heart burns. He would do everything to let her forgo."  
My dad did lose his temper sometimes,  
but he would still break his sister's man's both legs if he did anything to her, many times.

Out of respect for themselves and their dad, they considered still keeping a distance from her, for everything she did.

Now I understand why I smiled on the bus seeing my failed crush again.  
I once shared my feelings with him.  
Even though he did bad things and so did I, there are us both to blame.  
But after stepping off the bus, I felt bad doing that, smiling at him.  
Because I want to heal myself and keep it on one level.  
I lost feelings already,  
but not the love tragedy.  
Not romantically,  
but choosing to be tactically.

So it's okay to smile again.
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