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Some people wind up with twisted knickers
When they get insulted by nitpickers
Words are sticks and stones
Causing moans and groans
When they hear heckling whispers and snickers

Women used to call knickers 'underpants'
They'd get them twisted with tauntings and rants
Causing quite a rage
No matter their age
As if their panties were full of red ants!
                                                     Lin Lane

Some act like a tormented clown
Whose knickers are badly stained brown
They are so full of foul gas
Which they pass from their A.SS
And merits a stern dressing down
                                         Jan Allison

No one here on soup is Shakespeare or Poe
We're all amateur poets that is so
So just take it on the chin
If in a comp you don't win
Because if you don't your heart valves will blow

They thought they'd be at the top of list
But it didn't happen, and they were pissed
Then they fell from grace
Had egg on their face
And sadly, got their knickers in a twist
                                          Tom Cunningham

I don't wear tighty whities or twisted knickers
I will leave the fancy pants for city slickers
For the Seekers of praise
Those going through a phase
Of wanting to be adored, they're called A.ss lickers
                                           Mark Koplin

Don't obsess with political poems
Not a good reason to want to throw stones
We all have a choice
And deserve a voice
Disparaging comments, you should atone

Your knickers seem to be really stuck
Caught in between the BS and the muck
Petty and rude words
Slung around like turds
Now you're left smelling like a dirty schmuck
                                           Tania Kitchin


A kiss and she suggests a tryst
Sex please my dream date does insist
So, in record time
With essence sublime
She drops her knickers with a twist
                                        Duke Beaufort


My knickers are not in a twist, it's true
Prefer Commando, which is in review
With my tackle in place
I jump with charm and grace
Don't be rude... I'm a spunky kangaroo

The police are definitely howlers
They wear granny knickers with red flowers
But that isn't the best
They'd be under arrest
For pulling the things over their trousers
                                         Ned Kelly


I can’t believe she is taking them down
Not in the middle of the Church in town
Oh, please not the knickers
She threw them at the vicar
He's preaching the sermon wearing a frown
                                           Paul Bell

Big Mama's knickers are simply the best
The clan use them as a hammock to rest
But when push comes to shove
She showers us in love
Now we're all wet and so slightly depressed

Grannies bloomers, we now use as a tent
Now she's knickerless, her anger did vent
But she got her own back
Said I'll tell you the craic
You can bloody well start paying me rent.
                                         April Showers

His knickers in a twist snapped the elastic
Told ‘no dice Mr. self-proclaimed' fantastic!
He's a shark dressed as bait
Chasing heavenly fate
The backside of all deemed ecclesiastic

I'll knicker sling shot him right out of town
He's a troll that dresses up like a clown
Incites crowd to kick him
Just to play the victim
It’s a mystery why he's still around
                                  David Kavanagh


I'm very fond of my knickers, it's true
But sadly, so is the man from the Pru
He's as fat as a house
With a face like a mouse
Wish he'd stop wearing my knickers, I do
                                   Bobby Constable


If your knickers are in a twist say nowt
Don't give in to the desire to shout out
It'll then play on your mind
Forever you will find
If you should cause someone pain there's no doubt

Keep that rage you feel inside to yourself
Untwist your knickers to safeguard your health
Or they'll cut where it hurts
Like a boil that has burst
Imagine the gunge and squelch from thyself
                                      Beryl Edmonds

I've ingested my knicker elastics
To win in the olympic gymnastics
I'm now bending and stretching
Judge impressing, so fetching
Til I'm barred for use of microplastics
                                      Dilly Dally


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