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Personal Note:

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Poem

I slithered into the well bucket,
sinking deeper and deeper out of focus, 
Self-healing with funneled darkness, 
but I could only call it home 

I huddled into the escape pod and retreated from the shuttle
but not because it was failing, 
I just needed time to process 
And I always wanted to know the feeling of running away from home 

A regression of the ages,
Blinded by manufactured therapy pages 
Your sick and twisted seduction 
Exhausted like an alarm with no shrill 
Use your crocodile tears as medicine to your petty candles 
Before I snuff you like a film 

As innocent as I felt I could be,
Gagged and bound by my anxiety,
Chasing after someone who didn't belong to me
And even though the cuts you drew were deep,
I couldn't tell because the bleeding painted me internally
And so I died the same way I crawled back to you;
Reluctantly and completely powerless
I threw pebbles at your window until I found a weakness 
You brought a bad omen to a knife fight 
But I remind you too much of dying to chose me over life

My intention got lost within the coils of the phone cord 
I didn't drown, the surface froze above me 
Manifesting tea parties at the ocean floor 
After every scream fell unheard 
But even a recollection of your rejection
Leaves me the same way you left me standing there;
Gutted like a pumpkin and unwilling to act like I don't care 
And carve into me some more 
It's not like I haven't found a weakness yet 
You were my first,
I wasn't even in your little black book 
Fool me once, shame on you
But I stopped counting after twice
You brought an open spirit box to a gunfight 
But I remind you too much of dying to chose me over life

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