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I spoke to the universe and calmly said 
That I wanted a marriage. I wanted to wed
So I was sent to Johannesburg and into a monster's bed
Where God taught me a lesson of life instead 

I learned how to respond instead of react
I learned how to walk away when he couldn't interact
With respect
I learned to forgive but not to forget
I learned to be silent when futility appeared
And that his violence was rooted in how he was reared 

I learned how to have hope and when to give up
I learned to let go when futility had struck
I learned how to survive when his abuse took control 
I learned to be resilient and how to heal my soul 

I learned how to be patient and less naive
And how to view his childhood and to positively perceive 
That he was broken inside. I learned to understand
I could not fix his problems nor offer a helping hand
He was a prisoner of his mind trapped in the rearing of his childhood
During marital difficulties, his coping skills were no good 

He resembled a monster during the day and night
Always making sure he won every fight
Because he always focused on being right
He won every battle but lost the war
Because I could no longer inhale toxic masculinity anymore
I chose to allow my hurt to be released
I walked away to honour my peace 

I wanted a marriage. I wanted to wed.
I found myself laying in a narcissist's bed.
A traumatic lesson I learned in my life
To walk away after being a good wife
What ever I did was never good enough
Unappreciative of me. His chaos was too much
He never was my home. He was just a passerby
God made it easy for me to say goodbye
By isolating me in a city where I felt down and low.
Preparing me for my next chapter by making me grow 

It was all part of God's plan
For me to grow first before meeting the right man
For me to be naive first before being wise
To fall first and then rise
Experience failure before the success
Go through adversity first before being blessed.
I traveled back home to start over again
To work through my trauma and heal from my pain
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