Email Poem

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Ohh no I polluted my eyes with regret of truth of  my life 
Why do I have to be such a mess under the blanket when none belive that ohh how can she be so blended 
Never  got asked that was it tuff , was it unaliving to survive but hey I  survived 
Ohh to be loved unconditionally 
Are u crazy this is life not movie but I stayed alive with the smile in my eyes
A side character in my own story 
Can't imagine a life without turbulence for a while
 , falling , trying,  gripping,  living , I died sorry I couldn't protect my paranoid 
Am I enough now or I should tear my another vein so u could feed the insecurities I didn't ignite 
Why do I have to pay rent to live in my own house , I am sorry did I just tried to be a child 
I will switch my flip again please don't disappoint 
I am tired I feel like a puppet manipulated that its a free spirit animal living it's life 
I promise I don't hate u I just hate that I never fight for my spirit which was crying to express it's freedom which I never buy oh I wonder why 
I am always fighting a battle which always requires a fight which  never promises the victory for which I salted my eyes 
Don't worry it's a phase of my life which just became my life I wish I could skip it but that would be suicide 
I am not a loser I just kept my hold on the rope my hands tearing , blooding but I still climb
Are u happy now I hope so if not then I guess I will keep my scars alive 
Ohh u call it life but ungrateful me call it a punishment which I have to survive 
Will my battles be  ever over , I am losing my grip oh no I don't want to die If I lose the rope how will I survive please be happy I can no longer keep my hold tight  
I want to live I want to survive 
Trust me let go the anger u have for ones who always made u feel u are not sufice 
Ohh come on I was a child not a lottery who would bring fortunes in your life 
Oh sorry I forgot I am a investment not a human or maybe a cat who can live 9 lifes 
So I am going to survive even if I am dead inside because this is what u call life 
I am not going to lie this is the best thing ever happened to me in my puppetfied fight which people told me is called life 
Excuse my paleness I drained out myself to born a salty flood of my life 
I need to forgive u and forget the endurance of that little girl who craved love and was just a child born to die 
Humans are just overrated toys even the dead with no breathe understandand in return don't ask for My demise
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