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Deva Ossig, the landlady (and property owner) turned rogue

Just a couple weeks shy 
and seven years ago to the day,
I still remember contractual obligations
our previous residential abode
724 West Railroad Avenue, 
Bryn Mawr 19010 zip code
volatile relationship – poisonous
nasty hubris jump/kick started 
with aforementioned videre licet, alte Frau
(quite similar to Hamburg 

geschkult harsh taskmaster),
whose figurative and verbal drubbings 
linkedin with angry bird disposition 
twittering toward us 
analogous as toxic soundcloud
ofttimes found her ready to explode
lingering hostility snapped, 
popped, and crackled dark, 
whereby sauerkraut puss
analogous to red hot poker face glowed
until that fateful late June 
two thousand and seventeenth day.

Little did we known then, 
where contractual obligations 
to acquire municipal approval 
to legally house borders for pay  
she got away without being penalized
nevertheless danger lurked 
as well as mice and roaches skittered 
like a bag of spilled skittles,
no idea where the little critters went
invariably they scattered 

like pigs from a gun after war of words, 
and near physical altercation
fisticuffs flew and mutual 
(of Omaha) blood red rage 
both parties did vent 
the closest to homelessness 
found Harris family 
resigned to live in a tent
when lease would not be renewed
that she who charge sky high rent.

The heavy price to pay living social 
along Hoity toity MainLine
Back a small number of years 
thee diva of this domicile
exhibited an aura, charisma, 
enigma…devoid of any guile
boot of late turned 
a cold shoulder to me and I’ll
avoid denigrating, haranguing, 
and lambasting said dell lisle

la, whose avoidance 
behavior toward me – 
who goes a mile
out of her way to ensure 
our paths do not cross – noah din nile
per the above – 
well, perhaps a slight bit of hyperbole 
viz this, mine swift tailored, harried style
per potpourri of 
puzzling perturbation evinced 

by said olde world germane 
German dame we lease this duplex
treating us, as if we committed 
some egregious crime
subsequently forced to stand trial
viz aversion toward this convivial, 
frivolous and introspective chap
methinks said realtor/renter 
joined a coven den 
where doe eyed zen of thieves 

occupy teaching rubric 
of mean-ness while
taking appropriate after paging thru
selective yellow pages 
from play book of Sarah Palin
which tension unlikely to cease 
for the next nine months till the deed
doth expire, where by this witch a  taw 
hook cans ass (ours) will be freed
of renting a long and fostered, 

roach and fox infested, century21 
from once salient sympathetic ear 
this now manifested Scrooge like greed
reminding us (essentially 
via cessation of any interaction), 
how she once did heed
to our various and sundry travails – 
though neither myself nor spouse, 
the latter whose vociferousness 
regularly exudes loathsomeness  

toward key per, once a vouch saving 
storied angel without fail and indeed
wife tis not shy to vent 
where a plethora of expletives lead
rant and rave toward an impending crisis 
that will me send out an SOS 
ever felt compelled 
to join Hemlock society 
or drown sorrows in mead
yet disappointment arises, 

when formerly positive 
dynamic now im peed
did by reasons unbeknownst to me, 
who feels grateful ye chanced to read
my babbling of poetically 
irrational from a regular Trader Joe, 
who doth not sport Harris Tweed
nor (despite any immediate intimations) 
doth newt smoke booze nor drink weed.
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