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Igniting pain retrieving the chemical imbalance 
in my brain soft tissue itched my frontal lobe 
leaned over my forehead as my temporal lobe 
offered little comfort in cognitive skills my optic 
nerve damage piercing pain over my right eye 
I didn't dare blink as I began to wonder how 

much time my brain actually has to continue 
writing poetry I had summited several poems an 
yet my brain injury frightened me so much 
that in a fight flight mode I began summitting 
poems uncontrollably thee sudden impulse to 
continue writing after my severe brain injury 

the doctors said I was partially blind due to 
the car bomb crushing my eye socket diplopia 
vertigo these strange words the worse fear of 
onset dementia could arise so I began writing 
over ten poems a day about all subjects since my
wearing wires pregnant for the FBI was the topic of  

my mental illness I could still hear my fetus heartbeats 
clearly in between the panic attacks witnessing a murder 
domestic violence complete fear of killers coming to end my 
life I was unraveled clinically depressed chronic ptsd anxiety 
disorder and panic disorder I couldn't breathe without panting 
and crying memories hurt I wasn't myself the blessing was I had 

written and autobiography of my life and all of my poems 
were literally autobiographical this helped me immensely 
while submitting poetry winning contest writing about my own
mental illness it truly saddened me to read my own work 
after all the brain injury was quite clear lots of my words misspelled 
then even backwards grammar was vague too I felt lost and empty 

bullied intimidated by what appeared to be intelligent persons who 
wanted to market my poetry but I continued writing I got lots of 
threats taunting teasing if she only had a brain was my favorite or 
retards can't write poetry I felt horrible and actually stopped submitting 
my work because I submitted so many poems it was amazing comforting 
I didn't have time to edit with doctors appointments therapy an 

yet I still got great poem Yolanda exceptional 
poem we would like to use your poem for our 
sound of poetry masterpiece I felt awkward 
ashamed to be broken all the bullying had literally 
changed me into that retard the name calling fit 
typing with one finger and still do my hand was 

crushed I was broken my spelling was off I couldn't tie my shoe 
or hold a fork I definitely could not edit or proof read all the 
poems I'd written i was completely overwhelmed I didn't want 
to be rushed to publish my work by bullies looking to market 
my mental health poetry it wasn't until a few months after my 
brain injury I read poems by the seven year old poet Mattie Stepanik
 
who finally loss his battle with MS. so I wrote a poem Mattie in 
memory of him wow this little tyke sitting in a wheel chair with MS. 
writing poetry when everyone said can't he did he said everyone has 
a poet inside of them write keep writing be your own hero my god this 
was the reason I ever submitted a poem my son encouraged me to 
enter after his teachers admired a few of my poems it was Montel Williams 

poetry contest I thought what a gem looking at this 
disabled poet I saw myself my broken bruised brain in a 
wheel chair I began copying everything I write to 
edit my brain began to respond to the writing task 
comforting coping with my own disabilities with grace 
dignity this is my mental health month this is my story


May is national Mental Health month 
and also National Military family month 
as we remember the triumph of all who 
served and passed fallen  
This day I'm sending prayers 
to anyone who has or ever had a loved 
one suffer from traumatic brain injury 
or any mental illness always remember 
awareness saves lives stay safe god bless you and
God Bless The United States of America.
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