Email Poem

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Poem

His chapstick soft lips 
Distracted me 
From the perverse taste 

Of stale cigarettes 
He inhaled 
Between every other word 

But it didn’t 
Make my sagacious heart 
Uneasy 

He was winsome 
With that throaty laugh 
After years of smoke clouds leaving his body 

He even had 
All the prominent tattoos and piercings 
To make me question my self worth 

Like if I was pretty enough in person 
If my curves were perfect 
And if not 

Would my intelligence 
Make up for 
Those missing check marks? 

Instead 
I was sinking in my chair 
At dinner 

Endlessly circling 
My glass 
With my straw 

While he had 
the best conversation
With himself 

About why his car 
Is scarred 
With multiple bullet holes 

All the 
Faces he left dripping in blood 
Resulting in handcuffs 

The way he can’t function
If his head 
Was not filled with dope 

I could feel the sadness 
Drag its nails
Across my eyes 

Leaving 
A scar 
Of realization 

That I would never 
Be able to share 
The joy of my writing with you 

Or the band 
That inspired me to write 
In the first place 

What about how 
You would never ask 
How I’ve come to see love 

Yet how ironic 
you wanted to take me to play pool 
After dinner 

Because love
Has always 
Left me behind the eight ball

And your presence 
Your undesirable disheveled 
Absent minded presence 

Left me 
In a tight corner 
With no way out each game 

Not in a heart racing from the thrill
Cheeks are flushed 
Kind of way 

A stare 
In the mirror once I’m home 
In incredulity one 

Because I used to forfeit 
The best parts of me 
To men like you

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