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Fraught as an extremely socially anxious younger person...

hashtagged introvertedness trademark
silently exorcised, ostracized, and vilified
Impossible mission to resuscitate...
a forsaken promising
(even short lived) friendship
regardless of expressed gender
exhibited by other persons from yesteryear.

When trying to jump/kick start
lapsed meaningful interpersonal connections
from much earlier in my life
absence of a spark to kindle
once upon a time
valuable linkedin treasured bond
bereft of dynamism.

Folly entertained courtesy yours truly
bafflingly, desperately, and futilely
grasped elusive chimera
sabotaging rare occasion,
when fate smiled benignly,
I botched, damned, forfeited...
overarching golden opportunity
to experience sustained
positive rapport with compatible
lass or lad to accompany me
thru travails or buzzfeeding
a "lost" boy
with words of encouragement.

Now as an emotionally freighted
Unitarian, sexagenarian, 
nonestablishmentarian, omnivore
psychologically perturbed, 
rankled, tortured, vexed
bully me I got 
repeatedly severely traumatized 
similarly hectored by parents
issuing threatening ultimatums
no surprise I surrendered
to proclivity when showered 
with affection courtesy

consensual sexual intimacy
(minus the use of birth control)
eventually married the gal, 
whose child I helped beget these last
twenty seven and a half years
to a woman, (who after numerous
illicit marital transgressions)
forgave her leftist 
write minded husband,
regarding his lascivious, promiscuous,  
and salacious engagements
though would not tolerate

(understandably, necessarily, logically)
even platonic female relationships,
nevertheless does unconditionally
accept him mental health issues,
and all told comprise
obsessive compulsive behavior,
anxiety/panic attacks
palmar hyperhidrosis,
considerably alleviated courtesy
nine prescription medications
Aetna Medicare Advantra
picks up the tab without any co-pay.

I cannot help but wince
with twenty twenty hindsight smarts,
nurse misgivings and hanker with
shutterflying, recurring, plaguing melancholy
where passivity punctuated
the first two decades of mein kampf.
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