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4/8/24 Aww shucks Still at the crux In a state of flux With reality still out of touch I've been puzzled much So I smoke a couple blunts That's a double dutch From dawn to dusk I turned myself into a husk Just so I could seek another rush The door opens then shuts Hinges rust Nearby accumulated dust Atop the Earth's crust Standing in another gust I struggled on who to trust So I had to adjust In order to do what I must It felt like I was on the cusp Only for it all to combust I've been a schmuck Too often I snuck All to get an extra buck I push my luck Like I give no But I've been stuck Like a sitting duck Always being the one to muck it up Sometimes feels like I got ran over by a truck Then by lightning I keep getting struck Is that what I get for being denser than a hockey puck? In order to get out of all the ruts There will be cuts It takes guts To turn the negative around into a plus I should add That I just want to be a good dad But I don't even have anyone, I know that just looks sad Like me another lost soul in this woodland Time will tell if that's something I could have Holy moly Blocking me out like a goalie Still feeling lonely If only She'd give me a chance and try to know me It's all good if you want to move fast pace or take it slowly I deserve to be loved Not be judged By ideals that put themselves above Hold on to the grudge Let my name be smudged Through the mud and sludge Can't discover my roots Or makes the best of all these fruits So what's the use If I can't find the truth Or any proof Because it got destroyed by men in suits Makes it all seems like a spoof A sinister group Why did they make such a bloop Were they following orders from a Duke Regardless if they're in cahoots I've been a recluse Involved in substance abuse To live is A privilege Got to stay disciplined Even though it feels like my knowledge is limited That I'm inhibited By all the material being distributed I've been far too interested How can I ever figure out if this planet was visited? They want me to stay dim witted Otherwise it's prohibited At one point there was an answer but it got hidden quick Trying to figure it all out they have forbidden it It's been scripted All these eerily similar depictions Yet differences Across vast distances There's no credible witnesses Only scarcely interpreted images Too much contradictory History Still a mystery It all feels like no victory Just endless trickery Against the current I continually swam Stubborn and more foolish than a ram Rarely went out of my shell like a clam Still time slipping through my hand Like a grain of sand As a man Did no good to follow a plan I wrote as a kid in crayon I'll be damned It surely all went down the can Quicker then I could understand The cause and effect is like a rubber band It all comes full circle, so get the upper hand Do what's best for you, because no other can Almost had it then it all dispersed Still fully immersed With an endless thirst Heart soon to burst It's the worst Evil always lurks A faster outcome toward a hearse Will I ever break such a curse? As I conduct research All across this Earth Back to healthy, can I be nursed? I won't be the last nor the first People pass, all we got left is memories and their face on a shirt Trying to lead a better life, going to church All for others to look down on you from their perch No matter, I must find what works I pay no mind to such jerks But I keep my eyes on them because they'll smirk While they stab you in the back with a dirk This use to irk Make me go berserk The same said for continually getting burnt It would hurt But now I'm at peace even if I end up in the dirt
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