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This is a broken emptiness So surrounded in fixedness you can't get at it All I've ever wanted, I'm that But in disorder Unoriginal amongst poets My drama is bound, I won't let it out All doors remain shut I dare not taste my own chaos So my mind thrashes about Sometimes... perhaps I overhype that I don't see other minds to compare Actually I soothe and calm them Tell them they are ok That I can solve their problems This is how, I say... This is how The how works because they are them And I just have the answers ----- Unruly logic affects my lack of prescriptions Prescriptive slow jam impacts my decisions Aches terrible aches of last lives Linear time follows linear time Still I craft indistinguishable shapes Crave substance from longing Observe hands beyond mine Elegant yet empty, like the songs I sing Unable to back away from this thing Part of it, for all I know Knowing creeps and files away edges Unmasks promises of unrecalled pledges Sleeps whilst I lay awake seeking Startles me as I'm not weeping Awakening something I dare not feed The loneliness of the unmet need Remembering tears, unshaped fear Bring to form what seeps into thought Wrapped in emotion, overwrought Tempt me to plunge into the pool Remove sensation, forget rules Weighted to a path like I know who I am Internal screams of sham, sham, sham It's trauma, very simply the complex kind Despite knowing all about it, it messes with your mind If only I could edit what I hear and see Edit what I write, edit what I think Plunge but rise instead of sink ------ I'm a little too tired Memories feel hard to access Melancholy teeters at the edges Should anyone suggest bad of me I'd crumble I've expended energy without recharging As I lay warm and comfortable I wonder what might help I wrote some stuff Unpoetic and awkward ------ When all the pages are full and my head is empty then what? When I've checked that I'm loved and there's no need to worry what will I do? It could be today, nothing is stopping it being right now. My head isn't empty but it contains nothing urgent... But I wait for the start of something, it feels like it needs sunny days and open arms but it doesn't really... I can turn up and announce my arrival....
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