Email Poem

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Poem

last night 
i sensed its presence 


the walls were slowly closing in
and soon 
i know
i'll feel like I can't breathe


it's clenching down on my heart
the coldness spreading
draining out
the final drops of joy


i feel its weight
settle 
on my chest
on my shoulders


i feel its heavy chains
tangle
around my feet
around my arms
so very heavy
leaden


i hear its siren song
echo
in my mind
always in my mind
i can't resist it for much longer


with every step i take
and every thing i do
i hear it louder
i hear it closer


its merciless and endless
commentary
why, who cares, it doesn't matter
life is just boundless pain and work 
and then we die
so what's the point
are you prepared to live this way
for the next half a century?


i try to push it away
you try to keep it at bay
i try to drown it out
you try to hear it out
i try to scream at it 
you try to empathize with it 


it makes no difference


the siren song continues
of its own volition
until such time
when it shuts off


take heart, my love, it always does


it has a mind of its own 
so let it play
let it become the background
the meaningless familiar din


be comfortable with it
be gentle with yourself
ask for a hug


do not believe its fictions
seek out other stories


and joy 
will surely find you
sometimes in unexpected places


you will get through today
you'll see!
and then  
tomorrow will be better

****

and so it was

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