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"If I'm the world's biggest failure 
Does that make me a success ?.'' - Peter Dome.

I'm not exactly Midus with his special touch
That everything turns to gold
You can trust
Everything I touch
Just turns to rust or dust
Always, putting my foot in the wrong place
Saying the wrong things to others
So embarrassed my cheeks glow like a mellesure beacon.    
As red as a baboon's bottom on my face

Don't expect much
I'm only a man
And can only do what a man can

I put a shelf up on the wall
But it wasn't level
Everything I put on it
Slid to the floor
Then it fell down

I went to a funeral dressed as a clown
Then realised, it wasn't a fancy dress party
And didn't go down 
Too well.

Tried to install a burglar alarm
Pretty proud of my achievement
I went outside to try it out
And locked myself out
And had to break in
It took a bit of explaining 
It to the cops
My failures never stop

I'm short-sighted
And went to the wrong restroom
And the Ladies through me out
And didn't half shout

Always talking to pretty Girls
On the checkout
I pay for my goods
And forget the goods
Walk out of the store
Get home and realise
What I'd done
Having to go back lowering my head
And eyes

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