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My intellect is what helps me.
I can jump into the purely rational space and deal. 

But it's very lonely. 
I lived like that for years at a time. 

And, we sometimes love an idealized version of someone, the person they projected but aren't. 

And maybe they are striving to be that. 
Many times they aren't. 

But still love still exists, intact. 
And only proximity and contact keep it front and center. 

Of course there is loving someone and being "in love". 
And the being in love, that part is just not controllable.
 
Like wildfire it consumes you. 
And for us dispassionate logical thinkers, it's a rather irrational but heady space to be in. 

And for those who can't process emotion in real time.
Well we are more than a step out of pace. 

We are left holding the bag when someone emotionally ducks out and runs for cover. 

To be emotionally ghosted is about the loneliest place you can be. 
Of course they do it because they can't face the emotion either. Even if perhaps they elicited it. 

And so its many lonely trails and several lonely tales I have of love gained and lost to time. 
Sometimes I know what happened, and sometimes just poof in the wind it was released and gone.

I try not to malign the lover, even if they failed basic human communication. Some can't face the heat. I get it. 

But it's why many times I prefer the lonely trail. 
Alone is safer, darker but free. Free of all restrictions to be whatever I may be. 

For life is just a journey and there are only mere blips of rest along its path. 
And chaos will occasionally visit and subject you to its wrath. 

Till in the end it takes you. 

Till in the end it takes you. Artimus (C) Susan Manley 3/5/24 7:04PM

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