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I shan't try and be witty an engage in the norm peeking through such pain my eyes see dim as crushing temporal lesion push against soft tissue endings pounding my optic nerves from my forehead to the nape up my neck my shoulders are tense a strange taste emerges in my mouth a small night light pierces my pupils causing a pavilion of sparks shrieking agony I reach for respite a desperate desire had I injected my Emgality pin a bit earlier perhaps removing some of the throbbing I shrill cringe my skull began biting my brain why reminding it of the brain injury sudden memories float tip toes across my mind my self conscious remains silent vague awaiting a certain movement of my eye again tense matter sensitivity to sound light taste smell my brain swells I pop a Ubrelvy some relief is felt like warm hands is massaging my brain just enough to get me back to my neurologist a white coat floral crocks my blood pressure is sky rocketing grace emerges twelve injections four in the back of my head on each side of my brain stem connecting my optic nerve ah instance numbing the nerve she carefully approaches my temporal lobe two on the right side swiftly she moves to the left side two more injections finally the finale my head filled warm as she gracefully moves to the frontal lobes right over both eyes two on each side above the brow I brace myself she tells me to breath I sigh feeling no pain these last three weeks as my emergency medications are on stand by until the twenty four Botox injection my head feels like a pin cushion but do not remove not one of them I call them my crown of thorns because I died that day these crushing traumatic brain injury pains are so intense I could actually slip into a coma or have a traumatic seizure gripping torment crippling affliction covering my eyes removing all light I can't stand paralyzed strain exertion coping the modern medicines Lyrica Gabapenten Meloxacam cyclobenzaprine Tizanadine baclofen tramadol what is pain shrewd interruption of ones life altering sight a creeping bondage holding your mind and body hostage I pray for relief I'd also prayed for death to end the suffering thanking God for great doctors saving my life keeping me alive keeping me functioning since this dreadful death occur they call TBI damaged nerves endings traumatic brain injury coping with a dying brain a brain that some day will stop telling you that you are awake a brain unable to stay awake without medication Narcolepsy is like the brain taken several uncontrollable sudden 8 to ten minute naps reliving traumatic events insurance companies lawyers total disability as funds were being embezzle by a criminal group taking orders from the mafia left overs from the Chicago outfit that blew my brains out for wearing wires pregnant for the FBI the IED is actually called a Cicero tied to the garment district of Detroit hoodlums merging with Milwaukee casino crime rackets signature bombings afraid i would rat them out about the arson murders of nine elderly persons when in fact i was in hiding just a mom writing poetry gardening coping with panic anxiety and depression go figure right as I fought to taste see smell and feel captured in sheer torture wrath malice personal injury pain and suffering I'd written an autobiography which was rewarding and painful I found comfort in writing poetry everyday uncontrollable because I was truly afraid my brain would die so I wrote while these bullies then blew up my skull began trying to extort racketeer intimidate embezzle bully me for my mental health journal and my American poetry desperate writing to keep my brain alive somehow fight flight since 2003 my world halted my skull my face my eye socket nasal arch was crushed by a Cicero car bomb over my American poetry blessings against all odds I survived this horrid yet tangible blast as ongoing traumatic headaches the pain continues to last
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