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It's so hard for me to say this to you I wanted things to be different but they're not And my passive aggressive opinions must be like cocaine to you I can only have you thinking of me exactly the way I need you to But I loved you more than myself And I put all your needs in front of mine While you found a trauma response to hide behind A puppet to the master, Acres of control, I’ve never seen diverge faster And I've harbored innocent laughter into a competition for your suggestive glances I can force a different function of my brain if needed It's mostly a computer anyways And every bit of data is a puzzle piece of trying to solve your created language You're skating on thin ice And you're not that good a skater And I've studied your created language my whole life; A way to be your aphrodisiac and your translator But how am I expected to express this Without my own, definitely biased interpretation? It's not attractive to not listen And we'll watch it all unfold Like the paper of this contract I'm only holding your hand So you couldn't sign your life away This isn't forgiveness, This is barely an act of kindness I'm only manifesting your peace so mine can feel appeased And you keep defaulting to the victim with such ease Its every meaning of exhausting And the evidence stacked against your paranormal delusions Is nothing short of haunting You flash the shine of a shimmer of hope against my skin, So f-ing unrelenting But it's not the fear of an end that's keeping me pinned it's the fear of never finding it that won't let me begin I found you writhing in your own solitude With a shapeshifting story of petals falling at a rate of “he loves me not” Writhing in your own relapse of solitude Why do you think the dead get more flowers than the living? Cause regret is so much stronger than gratitude And I always tell myself the phrase you brought with you to the wake: To burn one of them at the stake, Would be to burn the whole city And I won't be the one holding the torch When they're crucifying for mistakes They'll take your ears and pierce them first It's not attractive to not listen
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