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There’s an old village green where a marquee was seen I don’t do ‘Bah humbug’, don’t want to be mean A little fake snow ain’t a Christmassy scene But the reindeer and Santa Claus might well have been But two little kittens and one manic pup Made those arrangements all go belly up Nothing was planned, you should understand It’s simply that sometimes things get out of hand You see, Rum n Raisin snuck out through their flap They ran to the green to give Santa a clap Walnut, their young canine friend gave a yelp Nipped out through the back door and followed to help He got to the Green where a red nosed reindeer Had cornered his friends and they cowered in fear Walnut snuck up and said, “Get out of here, Or maybe I’ll show you the meaning of fear.” Raisin said, “Walnut, just look at his nose It’s big and it’s red and just see how it glows I’ve seen a reindeer with a nose just the same He’s on Christmas cards… and Rudolph’s his name.” The reindeer said, “Don’t come here giving me grief.” But when Walnut grinned he clapped eyes on his teeth Rudolph said, “I cannot handle much pain.” Then flew to the skies and was not seen again So when Santa came he was totally mad “One of you did something totally bad. I need a new reindeer this minute,” he said. And then stuck two reindeer horns on Walnut’s head Raisin cried, “He’s just a pooch, can’t you see? He won’t bring your presents to John Doe or me Not to the next town nor over the sea.” And Santa said, “Tough, cos he made Rudolph flee.” Rum advised Santa, “Today’s Christmas Eve, And for all I know, your real name is Steve Your Santa Claus suit is a little white lie But I’d like to know how that reindeer could fly.” Santa said, “This Christmas grotto is fake But I am quite real, so please give me a break Your Walnut must stand in to help pull my sleigh But you have a choice: Do you come - do you stay?” Walnut stood there in his new antlered head He looked rather silly but, even so, said, “You’ve got lots of reindeer and all of them fly I can’t comprehend what you might want with I.” Santa said, “Reindeer teams don’t fly by day Rudolph’s bright, shiny nose would light the way Walnut said, “You know no dog’s hooter glows?” So Santa supplied him an L.E.D. nose.
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