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Poem
I think I found the prescription for the sickness behind my obvious problems 
Or I found the key that fits in the lock of the door of ignoring them
I’m not sure which one it is 
But you’ve won, I’m tempted 
But am I exempted from my duties of holding down the fort when you’re dejected?
You’re a hostage situation 
Feeling grounded, but my hands are tied and you say I’m imagining it 
But I must’ve threw the panic button out of reach
and chosen to forget the password 
so even my fastest fingers can’t breach 
My words give you a scare 
I’m only asking what I need from you but your ears hear bloody murder 
Oh, the shy screaming from the skeletons of sentences, sending shivers  

Currently healing, but I have time for another beating 
Your best shot wouldn’t even phase me
I’ve been in the ring with my own brain 
False hope and a single memory have created all these blood stains 
It’s not even a ring anymore 
It’s a crime scene clean-up without the caution tape
I know all of it’s tricks, yet still, I leave with a concave face 
A collector of welded heart strings?
Or a hoarder of codependent projects with too much detail?
I act independent, but you’re the wind and I’m the sails 
I’m pressing buttons but you’re not on demand 
I don’t want to have to find you through the tunnel I threw my flashlight into 
It’s hiding in the darkness like the panic button you say I discarded 
What’s an earthquake called on my created planet? 
You still have glue leaking from your edges, but you wouldn’t say you were a broken project
I upgraded my service, but you’re still not on demand 
I'm living in the Las Vegas of my mind 
Everything that happens within,
Stays in the limits of my peace-seeking realm 
Your opinions are monstrous 
But are my takes post-apocalyptic? 
And you wouldn't say you were broken hearted 
But a paper shredder and three emotionally drunk years later, 
here I am, never blushing harder 

Sometimes I sit with myself
And think about what would've happened if you said yes 
These inconsistent metaphors and rabbit holes I get caught in
But who saves the lifeguard when it’s time to sink or swim?

And I left the porch light on,
But in an attempt to highlight the crickets when they confer with the moon 
and tell my thoughts to back down 
Before they fight my internal clock and lose  
But who saves the lifeguard when it’s time to sink or swim
In your body of tears, are we talking puddle or monsoon?

I can’t help but sit with myself
And think about what would've happened if you said yes 
Sometimes I sit there and ponder how everything would have collapsed 
Had you said yes 
But who saves the lifeguard when it’s time to sink or swim
In this limitless lagoon of tears I’m always waiting and wading in?
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