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DISORIENTATION 

                
              Me always disoriented both in real life and in dream land.
                       Simple stupidity follows me :
                     Feeling embarrassed to admit
               my road sense is not nil but negative.
           I get puzzled, even going to our local market
            and very often I am misguided to choose
                    false direction, as if put in a maze !
         Basically I carry street nervousness throughout life.
                     To board wrong bus or train 
             not to find out exact address even for known places 
                 is very common happenstance in my journeys.

             I feel uneasy to travel alone.     
                   By nature I am smart, also recognised so
                          by my friends and associates.
             Yet I am not comfortable to go to an unknown place on my own.
                    I behave straightforward, never shy.
            My sister eleven years younger than me is too introvert.
                 When I was twenty two, l started 
                        for interviews  to get job. 
                 I used to take my sister of half age of mine with me,
                though that was an extra burden to escort a minor girl.

                   In most familiar places generally I have no confusion.
                       I walk free aiming to a fixed purpose .
                 But I can’t walk single, leisurely without any need.
                  A strange depressive feeling embowers me :
                    Is there none to accompany me ! Am I alone !
                             Then I feel sick.
                  This disorientation is very awkward and has no explanation 
                                in my life style.
                I was daily passenger in train during my college life
                      and also regularly availed of train and bus 
                   when in service and faced frequent problems.

               In my dream land I always target a wrong destination.
                I never found out way to be back to my own home.
                 It is so scary, I get lost almost in every night.
                  In dream land I am bound to go to some place.
                         Inevitably I had to roam indefinite 
                      and in vain tried and tried failing to select
                           right transport or right direction.
                    This type of night mare is my life long companion.
                         I get relief only when I wake up from dream.

                 Reaching last phase as I am analysing 
                   my bygone days, I have found out 
                 all failures as endured or incorrect decisions taken
                       sprouted from misconceptions caused
                              by disorientation of brain !
                   I am rational, analytic holding strong self confidence 
                           Yet I suffer from some disorder,
                             some sort of improper function of thought process
                        originating from this unexplained disorientation.
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