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The super snuggle with the dog
Like a weighted blanket but with intent as he wants to be close to me
Even by my side he ensures contact so I know he is there and he knows I am

My mind's drifts to Strictly Come Dancing and the intent of the programme makers
They don't want everyone to do well - they have to have failures
They are provided with equal opportunity to be trained but the intent is that they fail and are laughed at whilst feeling loved by the 'Strictly Family'... I do like to ruin things for myself

Last night's loser ~ I'm not saying we didn't scream laughing with cringing joy but there's an element of that being tainted as I'm not sure he's in on the joke... he's not someone I favour in life but imagine having the realisation that you are not actually an entertainment icon, just famous and will be paid for your time but an unloved joke, forgotten but for a gut wrenching/wretching moment of recall that might not even make it to the hall of fame of terribleness

I think that's why I loved Bill Bailey - there was a plan that he'd be terrible by the men is suits - he'd have been in on that joke though (I do respect that wonderful man!) but he wasn't terrible (yippee - dance every week of my life Bill!) - he was fantastic and I cried week after week at how much joy he brought me knowing his effort paid off

This is now too long in the unstructured text world of the non poem

I know - I'll make it a haibun... 

misery within
doesn't protect you from harm
resilience does

*if misery quirky musings is an inaccurate description then just know I wrote it quickly. I've given this no thought (full disclosure - I've briefly spell checked). I'm aware, hopefully always aware... or actually maybe let me not care at all.
Signed Anxiety

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