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Pondering The Sad And Fateful Decision

there he sat
his brain peddling along
heart fluttering in space
and that bright summer sky kissing his face
mind recalling trouble
her face appears
she that ripped his flesh and smashed his world
there is no reprieve
certainly is no hope
he ponders the unthinkable
a sharp knife in his right hand
birds fly and settle in the sycamore tree...

such vibrating colors and splendid tunes
his heart started growing lighter
music soothes the wounded beast
yes, today he would walk
back into this dark world
fight the dreaded beast
to rise in morn and smile
eat a fine breakfast
maybe find a new job
why not he mused
is my life ready for joy
yes it tis
brain fired up and
heart grown lighter
then suddenly he saw
her face and darkness return
he sits and sharpens that knife
after all he thought
what the hell is life.....

after all
what the hell is living
but a black curse
a lonely death
he remembers
his knife
sharpens its
long blade
and muses death
would it be
so bad
pain would stop
sleep would fall
and
his heart
stop crying....

again his brain
thought
what is living
but a curse
a curse he endures
as she went away
and now so will he...

Robert J. Lindley, free verse
9-15-2023


Note: 
This poem is dedicated to my very good friend who
in the summer of 1976 took his own life....

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