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Figurative paralysis laid waste body electric of mine

This is Spinal tap 
bamboozling, binding, bleeding, bombing...
ripped from every dog eared 
and book marked page
recounting latest ill fated fiasco, 
now peppering my life and hard times
causing quite an ache – fiercely teasing 
(the fire cat) curative panaceas  
sans almond sunset, chamomile, 
Osage Tea for the Tillerman.

I tell myself Yukon try 
grabbing at straws
with all your might to no avail
even enlisting Strain gauge 
in tandem donning 
common cents equipage
with a bunch of bootlegged banshees 
freed from their cage
and as last ditch resort 
drafting electric eels.

Yours truly as shock absorber quite astute
accompanied by Jack and the Giant 
beanstalk golems to boot
or lion eye zing tiger 
(perhaps named Tony, 
mean to the bone, but...oh so cute,
who dwells in a tony neighborhood), 
swishing (Nike like) tail, 
and held up ala playing the flute 
an unseen hellacious, ferocious, atrocious
 
or outlandishly jowly, egregious beast, 
who expelled offal asphyxiating 
noxious, odious, pernicious, et cetra odor
from a moon unit sized Glute
yea, I could also allude 
to some Monty Python flying dragon,
who gives nada hoot,
somehow remotely controlling 
any errant cyber wayfaring day tripper
simultaneously while droning
sheepishly not to ram into ewe.

These high speed U-Haul trucks
combine all the above scenario, 
to glean mental state of mine
aye know really sucks,
which gagging induces 
the worst instance of reflux 
making little rheum for ordinarily 
phlegmatic ho hum (what me worry 
Alfred E. Neuman 
persona non grata) guy.
 
Sum total of available funds 
(since being defrauded to the hilt)
to qualify for credit card, 
would only feebly meet Karma 
credit rating as risky business
approximating the quacking 
of red hot inflamed ducks
(my apologies to PETA, Paul, Luke...), 
they madly flap wings, yawping beaks, 
visa vis masterfully discovered on par 
with orange iz the new black
evidenced courtesy Wu Tang clan  
in no way, shape, nor form 
unrelated to que clucks clan.

Whew...only then 
(after reviewing the situation)
panoply of mystical elements of breath aired
per millennia times two resonated 
veritable pantheon of superstitions 
fired imagination as catalyst 
viz homo sapiens forehead 
tugging simian beard,
whence bygone agents provocateurs 
fueled tens of previous generations 
bred Manichaeism credo, 
a nebulous ethos sans early humanity 
vetted dual chaired

spirit world wide web populated 
with dominatrix Roman sol invictus 
wrought fiery brimstone who dared
assert antiestablishmentarian dogma 
got hounded to whit; the bowels 
of hellish firmament most 
and/or many feared,
they would be pitched headlong 
into said purported fiendish furnace,
thus particular obeisance payed
to morays; any voracious 
marine coastal eel of the family Muraenidae, 
esp Muraena helena, marked 
with brilliant patterns and colours.
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