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Rum and Raisin, on the mat, were playing with their toys Their humans had the tv on to give some background noise Rum said, “Raisin, there is something that I want to do, To meet a man from far away, whose name is Tim Bucktoo.” Raisin said, “I’ve heard him mentioned right on that TV And, yes, I reckon Tim Bucktoo is someone we should see.” Rum said, “If he’s far away we’re gonna need a boat, What a great adventure, we shall be two cats afloat.” They ran down to the docks and chatted with a passing rat Who pointed at an ocean liner, then said, “Get on that, You need to be in Africa, I hope that is enough, You’d best be off, I think the sea is getting rather rough.” And so they snuck aboard by dodging every boot and shoe They hid inside a lifeboat to avoid the liner’s crew Alas, their voyage wasn’t as exciting as they’d planned They felt a little seasick but were far away from land Raisin said, “I’m feeling yuk and what I’d like to do, Is cancel this adventure and give up on Tim Bucktoo.” Rum said, “I agree with you but what are we to do, We’re out at sea; we might as well be stuck in Timbuk……tu.” Raisin said, “How dumb are we, there is no Tim Bucktoo, but how do we get home again?..” and then things went askew A dolphin said, “Hey kitties, I have got a real thick hide So get your claws out; stick them in; I’ll take you for a ride. Rum and Raisin clambered on the rail and then leapt over They landed on the dolphin’s back, “Two one way trips to Dover.” But kittens can’t go under which the dolphin didn’t know So when he dived poor Rum and Raisin just had to let go Bobbing in the water Raisin said, “Look for a sail!” And then the world went dark when they were swallowed by a whale Rum said, “Yikes, it’s dark in here, I’m gonna use my tail, To tickle Moby’s ribcage which should make this fish exhale.” It kind of worked except its mouth was not where they came out They shot into the air when he sneezed through his water spout They couldn’t swim and couldn’t fly and they were at a loss But then they soared into the sky… aboard an albatross Rum called out, “Excuse me, but I’d rather like a word, We kittens are not kippers for a most enormous bird.” The albatross said, “I’m just here to guard ships and their crew.” And Raisin said, “Ahoy me hearties,” (hoping that would do) The albatross was not impressed and flipped to make them go And down below a grinning shark said, “Well… what do you know?” Rum and Raisin fell toward the hunter in the sea And Raisin yelled, “I don’t know how… but he’s not eating me.” Then Rum said, “Mum once told us cats all land upon their feet.” So, Raisin said, “It’s ‘claws-out’ time; that fish we need to beat.” They hit the shark; their claws dug in; the shark let out a wail “I’ve tried to be a vegan but, it seems, to no avail.” Raisin said, “I’m sorry but I had a feline hunch, That you were down here waiting for a furry kind of lunch.” The shark said, “I will take you just as far as I can bear, I feel like I’ve got claws inside my soul and underwear.” And so about a hundred metres from where land meets sea The shark said, “There’s a diver but those divers don’t like me.” So Rum and Raisin splashed around until the diver came He took them back to shore and found a little YouTube fame. But Rum and Raisin each became a red hot household name And ended up as big shots in the advertising game One day Rum said, “Raisin, what are we supposed to do? An agency wants us to do… an ad for Timbuktu!”
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