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I know that I sail close to the wind
It's something I do to counter lack of confidence
Let's get in a frenzy of mixing metaphors now: I throw myself past the point of no return, seeing if I'll sink or swim
You see I'm particularly skilled at spotting the pitfalls - in everything...
I won't choose wallpaper or a sofa because I fear the lifetime of regret with every move and decision I make
I don't plan what I'll say, as otherwise I won't speak
So going with my gut becomes my MO

Example: my song gets played at a party? Before anyone else is dancing? I'm meeting 70% of the people for the first time? I make a quick calculation - sitting it out is something I've done too much of but half hearted dancing is definitely cringe. If I'm going to do this I need to fully immerse in the dance and go for it... Do the crowd cheer? Absolutely - it's 30% best buddies! There may have been 3 pints of Guinness involved in that decision and I may have done that dance on an empty dance floor a few times and it never be deemed a bad choice. Sailing close to the wind is usually calculated. If I hadn't got my usual high fives and gushing rave reviews I'd probably allow remorse to set in and the risks involved are tremendous. I won't just decide dancing was a bad idea, I go for full character assassination and then some. 

I don't always jump into things I can't pull back from. If you take for instance the dance - fully immersed, every fibre of my being involved from mind to body through to my finger tips and the air around me. I actually think gravity and the magnetic force of the earth leaps into that dance when it occurs (Wuthering Heights in a red dress for those who haven't heard me repeatedly mention my spiritual awakening of a dance). Therefore, I show restraint with things like anger - my mind very quickly skips to the scene of destruction end view (a bit eye of the tiger) and compassion kicks in. Lucky that.

So, sailing close to the wind on the seas I know and the seas I don't. Taking chances with myself as it's only ever myself I'll take down. But perhaps I'll journey forward, make discoveries and revelations. Maybe become someone I don't have to despise or trick into being the life and soul of the party. Maybe I'll swim should push come to shove (even if I have no respect for consistent metaphor usage or poetic convention)

Plus I can't go back to sitting on the sidelines, I didn't want to be there and my friends would be well miffed as there wouldn't be anyone waltzing us through on the guest list with a round of free drinks and anything we want played by the DJ, whilst sitting in the best seats.
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