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i sit in this hot shower and my bones feel cold. my brown hair is falling out as i wash my legs on this floor and i wonder if you would wash my hair for me. if you would kiss my scalp while i cry and i will hope you cant see my tears but we both will know you could. you will keep your lips sealed for my pride.


i wonder if your warmth would bring my bustling body back to life,
i wonder oh baby i wonder

i think in this hot shower with my eyes shut and my legs crossed and my teeth bared like a hellhound ready to strike
i have spent all my life wondering. 
i have spent so much time daydreaming and honey you are the best daydream i've got. the closest step to the fantasy world and i will grip on with my foaming lips and sharp claws and pray you dont bite back. 

I will watch my teeth meld into your neck and hope you've got dog shampoo for my wretched body. i hope you have enough heating pads and blankets because at night baby i get cold and i get mean. these claws sharpen and my scars show darker and my brain gets fuzzy and maybe its like im possessed. 

 the sharpest fangs bite the hardest at night and when you feel cold you grow ugly. my eyes will sink in at night and my nose will shape crookedly and my hair will stand on its end and i daydream you will find me pretty when i moan like a dying dog. it feels like yesterday i was on the operation table being ripped from my mother and the brown freckles on my skin whisper at night i wont be warm again. that i will fight again. that in the ring i will bare my scars to the monster and i will fight it alone. i will fight it so alone that the monsters cold breath will give me frostbite. you will be gone for a minute but i know you wont leave me. at the end of the fight, at the end of the match, you will pick my bruised and battered body back up and tell me how good i did. how beautiful i looked how sweet my dance was how well behaved i am,, how much you love me- You wont leave me because for such a hellhound, my body is so cold and you find it lovely.  you will set my nose back into place and suck my eyes to where they belonged. you will silence my cries and kiss my hellish features goodnight. because for such a hellhound, i am such a beautiful girl. i am such a good pet. i am your favorite hellhound.
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