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I am writing right now at 7:43 pm because I feel like someone is suffocating me from the inside. This anxiety is eating me alive, I try, I have strived but a wave of torment has taken over like a thief in the night. Its hard to swallow the pain and lets not forget the elevated frequency waves exhausting my brain. I am plain nothing out of the ordinary, I view life different because now it's ing scary. I have hid as a child asking what to do now while I sit in the silence of not knowing how. They bend you and spin you and say that we are free, no need to take refuge, this ones on me. These people barley have homeless shelters and throw families into the unknown, but I've seen this one before, no place to call home. If I had mapped out the future or quality of life I still don't think i would have gotten it right. This system they have, will leave you wishing you weren't here while we lay awake at night repeating bible verses rebuking fear. Don't let it take me, I'm trying to dig myself out. Can it rain a little because my life has been in a terrible drought. I'm frozen and lost and I still have what faith I was given and shown and I still can't escape. Misery  loves company, please see I am alone I do not want to make misey my home. If only by hand, take the misfortune aside, give me a place where I can make it and thrive. The suffocation is calming down as I sit in the sun, but if I had a way out I would definitely run. Lord you owe me no mercy but I beg of you this, if you can't save me now, at least save my kids.

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