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black rotten salad shoved in between my lips 
It was always the poison or a kick in the hips 
I would’ve thrown it away but the witch caught my hand 
Took a fork and shoved it in; I still can’t understand 
Felt real sick all year with every expired munch 
Eleven school years that I never ate my lunch 

Curse words and disorders is all she ever named me 
Every hour out of school she would always blame me 
Underweight from malnutrition—still she body-shamed me 
Who was I in the past that caused this life to maim me? 
Holidays are days I wish would never exist 
Can’t sit for a minute and can’t fix what I missed 
Yells over nothing but her words add to the list 
Finds me in the bathroom slitting up my wrist 

Can’t understand my logic but won’t let me explain 
It’s like trying to air-dry towels in the rain 
No matter what cliff I climb the scenery’s the same 
It’s like having choices you can’t choose in her game 
Counselors always callin’ cuz the kids won’t stop snitchin’ 
And then they didn’t have to cuz the teachers saw it plain 
Always told em it's an accident, some bad fall in the kitchen 
But now the anger makes it hard to hide away the pain 

black rotten salad shoved in between my lips 
First I didn’t swallow but then I felt the kicks 
Sister watched by laughing and filming me too 
It felt like chewing fungi straight out of the loo 
Snot and tears ran down to season the greens 
Still to this day I wonder who was I in the past 
What did I do to history to be living under these means? 
Perhaps my clouds were meant to be overcast.

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