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Personal Note:

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Poem

i still think
about coming back
being with you
doing the same things
we used to do
it would be so easy
to sink back into old ways
to think of you
the way i used to
to look at you
the same way
i once did
but we’ve done this
twice already
and some people say
third times a charm
but i think at this point
we’re just holding on
to love
that shouldn’t exist

the definition of insanity 
is doing the same thing
expecting a different result
so what are we expecting 
that it will work
that we wont hurt each other
that we’ll make it
to that picture perfect future

when i look at it i think
we could do it
maybe if we tried harder
had more understanding 
maybe if i was healthy
but then again
shouldn’t i expect the same from you
you think you are
you think drinking every day
is just something you’re choosing
you think not being able
to show affection 
is because you're tired
the mention of your trauma
affecting you
is quickly shut down
i'm fine
you say
i don't think about it
you should too

oh how i wish
i could show you what its like
to be free
of the things
that weigh down your brain
but you cant explain it
you cant understand 
unless you’ve felt it

i'm standing
near the end
of the tunnel
i can see the light
and i'm running towards it
i tell you look
but you’re so far back
you don't even believe me
you say i don't see it
that i'm behind you
further in the darkness
but you couldn’t be
more wrong

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