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Poem

It was a desperate situation,
Regimental honour at stake,  
Decision urgently needed
As to what actions to take.
The Colonel was in paroxysms
The RSM was spitting blood
The M.O. was overworked and
Things just weren't looking good.

An outbreak of indiscipline was 
Fast spreading through the ranks,
Squaddies dying without permission
Without a by your leave or thanks,
In such sloppy situations which
Caused the C.O. to angrily mention
They didn't even have the courtesy
To die properly lying at attention.

With ruthless Military action
With no thought of pity
Permission to die withdrawn
Without the relevant chitty.
Two weeks notice of intent
Sent with an application
Was now the requirement
To sort out the situation.

Expiring without notice
Became a disciplinary offence
Combined with an appeal
To use their common sense.
Extra duties to be imposed for
Future unauthorised expiration,
The deceased’s unit being held
To blame for the situation.

The system worked a treat 
For any squaddie hates 
Being held responsible
For letting down his mates.
The situation stabilised
Until finally at length
The regiment returned to
Fully operational strength.

Sanity quickly established  
Thanks to the decisions made
And the Colonel and Sergeant Major
Held a celebratory Regimental Parade.
Pardons were quickly issued for those
Who’d died without permission 
And the Regiment quickly returned 
To its allocated operational mission.

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