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Poem
Self help addict needles unsuspecting reader 

Expounded late today April 27th, 2023
since being written
countless years ago
maybe a baker's dozen
as thee doodling cock doth crow 
scouting about for carrion 
scavenging for dead animals 
and rooting about garbage to sell 
at annual corvus entrepôt,
where at birds eye view

buzzfeeding crowdsource 
talon (telling) the famed truth
regarding chicken scratch 
scrawled illegibly by eccentric hand
now sought after collector's item 
signature birdbrained, bird dogged, 
bird dinned long haired, 
pencil necked geek recluse 
can be found in his grotto
along with original manuscripts 

characterizing Mark Twain 
in general and Injun Joe
in particular linkedin 
with Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn,
who suffered fools gladly, 
but nevertheless being a security detail
he dealt with hoodlums -
frequently tossing them out 
on their golden earring 
and experienced severe lumbago.

When dire circumstances extant do I ask
for anonymous benefactor 
to write me a blank check
so edenic, idyllic, and pacific sunny 
spring day yours truly can bask
tapping a keg of spring water 
stored in an airtight cask
when thirsty, I pour into 
an ice cold 
(not a tad above absolute zero) 
temperature controlled flask
while donned (underclothes 

resembling Ally's gaiters), 
and outer garments 
emblematic of space suits 
my favorite martian outfit 
and astronaut helmet and mask 
to minimize contamination 
paraphernalia acquired courtesy gofundme
for assistance sans when cash strapped 
since temptation to rob a bank dismissed  
guru wannabe of gumption 
buckles when he tackles 
formidable onerous task.

Otherwise an inner compulsion 
advocates dishing out non repeating 
infinite decimal calculating pi
on nearing infinite jesting kron limit
can unlock esprit de corp
spirit to tackle and barrel headlong 
novel circumstance silently cheering
myself to get unstuck 
if in quandary like eeyore 
and experience shuttered 
gloating euphoria galore
for 

reasons spelled out 
because das saucy papa
coon sitters himself an insecure
noodle head as told me courtesy Kishore
and Kouila Raval – 
unsure if surname correct, 
(who approximately 
forty five years ago lived at 
Colony Arms Apartments
within Audubon Pennsylvania,
where yours truly felt infatuation
toward their daughter named Menal)

woven into this reasonable rhyme 
as thoughts analogous 
getting squeezed thru many a kernel pour
out corny and flaky as Tony the tiger 
in tandem with Katy Perry 
emanating a figurative roar
to even out the score,
when as a boy alias scapegoat
of bullies subsequently 
pleaded for peace versus declaring war, 
prepubescent and young adult of yore.

He admits being affected with Peter Pan's 
jiffy (labyrinthe) syndrome 
the prospect of becoming older, 
I decried physical maturation 
(wanted to remain being a little boy)
upon skinny legs objected to stand
when juiced a striping slip of a lad, 
whether at home 
or in class room 
playing solitary candy land
submissive toward parental 

intervention against teachers’ pet(s) 
mandated got foisted upon my person 
equated to more than helping hand
my lonely hearts club one young man band,
whereby me late mother 
(preceded date of this poem) 
before lovely bones 
of then octogenarian father
punctuated mortality 
with exclamation mark 
when tightly coiled resembles ampersand!

Said enabling parents offtimes 
completed my entire major assignments, 
homework, and major class project, 
say researching history of York
reinforced dependence on others 
with angst riddled psychic torque 
underscoring in boldface defects 
mine genetically typed quirk
this then young man lacked confidence 
as requisite  perk
with inxs o faith no more seeds 
of worthlessness did lurk
inferiority hardly groomed me 
a foo fighting beastie boy
resembling creature from Black Lagoon
covered head to toe with mire and murk
antagonistic role and potential enemy 
characterized by Captain Kirk;

Hence without a spock of confidence, 
neither sensibility nor cents
cause gifted with noggin quite dense
consigned to bruit off fence
against meself, an outlier
never found among bad company of gents
which at presence doth incense
that middle aged male, 
whence any aid pains like a lance
essentially donning out role of offence
particularly with lack of finances 
where mine family rents.
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